Showing posts with label pilot jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pilot jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Blind Pilots

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.

Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog.

Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses.

At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke.

However, after a few minutes the engines start spooling up and the airplane starts moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking.

Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.

Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts
off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain: "You know, one of these days the they're going to scream too late, and we're gonna get killed!"

Monday, July 28, 2008

This is Captain Sinclair...

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew, I’d like to welcome you onboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the Port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That’s me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Thank you for flying British Airways"